Comments on: weirdo

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 21:30:54 +0000

“I just wish they’d all stop talking about it.”

well *precisely*.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 12:38:30 +0000

Great post.
You described so well one of my biggest frustrations right now. My family, my friends, my distant friends, my colleagues — all have decided that too much time has passed — I’ve been married too long and am too old not to be having children. I wish I could say I definitely didn’t want them, so at least I’d have a response other than, “F- off” (in my head) and “not yet” (to the person).

Some are cool, some are not – I just wish they’d all stop talking about it.

By: Jen

Jen — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 20:25:44 +0000

@stacey: it may be that there are still lots of people my age that don’t have kids… but very few of them i’ve ever met would say they don’t want them. i know lots of 30-something women who just can’t wait to be mothers.

@ns: i should clarify: most of the people i have this conversation with are not zealots in any way (though a few feel the need to evangelise)… but even the ‘cool’ ones still have that momentary “wha?? that does not compute” reponse. the idea is completely alien to their way of thinking and feeling.

By: Noble Savage

Noble Savage — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 20:15:27 +0000

I find it odd and rather sad that you (and other people who have chosen not to have children) haven’t met more of the awesome parents (like me!) who don’t give a flying monkey’s if you don’t have or want kids. I know we’re a rarer breed than the “Ohmygod, you don’t want KIDS?! What’s wrong with you, lady??!” crowd but we do exist. Are the nonchalant “Oh, that’s cool” responses really that few and far between? I’m not questioning your perception or your experiences, just bummed out that you get so much more of the zany zealots than the laid-back “Eh, whatevs” folks.

By: Stacey

Stacey — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 15:55:08 +0000

I think it’s something like 20% of women in Britain of about your age don’t have kids, so it’s weird that it’s still an issue.

By: Thomas Foolery

Thomas Foolery — Sun, 31 May 2009 17:25:45 +0000

yeah good post

By: blues

blues — Sun, 31 May 2009 10:58:44 +0000

Wow. That article. Just, wow. I couldn’t get through the whole thing, I just got mad.

I’m 32 and I don’t have kids yet (I hope I will have kids some day). I can’t tell you how sick I am of my family pestering me and my husband to have children. This article is just sad to me because, not only being completely insulting to people who choose not to have children but it completely disregards women who just end up not having kids because
A) they don’t have a person by their side that they can have children with or B) they are infertile and maybe want to save face and not tell a potential employer and/or boss about such a personal problem and feel their eyes of pity that they already feel from everyone in their personal life.

I get not wanting to have kids, even though I do want them. In our case we have never said we didn’t want to have kids and we still get the persistant annoying onslaught of uninvited nagging that comes along with being in our early 30’s and not having children yet. I can’t imagine how much more we would have to endure if we were to say we had decided not to have children.

This article also angered me because it just reminded me once again that women, no matter what they do, cannot ever do the right thing in our culture with respect to reconciling work and motherhood. EVER.

Great post.