Comments on: if i could spend my days free from the prison of your gates, i could die a happy man

By: blues

blues — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 16:08:45 +0000

Oh, you know I understand.

By: dave

dave — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 23:52:48 +0000

understood…I know where you are coming from…I wanted to make the point his influence, love, and companionship is something that continues to influence us…

By: A Free Man

A Free Man — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 23:48:02 +0000

I know what you mean. I felt the same way when my Grandfather started to really go downhill. He wouldn’t have wanted to live that way. He was too full of life and laying in a bed, decaying and dying, was not who he was.

I’m grateful that after it became clear that it was just a waiting game that there were some nods and heads turned and morphine and peace for the man. I’m glad my family was able to make that decision. And I hope that if ever I’m in the same position (either of family or Grandfather) that the same decision is available.

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:38:31 +0000

i’m not trying to be flippant. for me, the overwhelming feeling is that *he* would not want this for himself. i know that for a fact. and as sad as that makes me, i can understand it.

i also do not want him to suffer, or to become terrified and miserable, as a lot of people with alzheimers do in the next stage. that’s no way to live.

he has lived a fantastic life, and just a few years ago was talking about only living to 93 (the age his mother died) and being ready to die. he said that in a very matter of fact way, and i know he had absolutely no regrets.

i don’t actively wish for him to die… but i want him to have a quick, peaceful and painfree death when he does. a good death. he deserves that… and i worry that will be less likely to happen in the future as he becomes more infirm.

if he were to die now, i would be heartbroken of course… but okay with it. because i want for him as good a death as he had a life.

i’m sorry if that upsets you both.

By: Your Sister

Your Sister — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 21:41:57 +0000

nicely stated, david.

By: Dave

Dave — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:32:39 +0000

while I understand your point and what you are trying to say, I do not share that desire. Has life changed for him? Yes. Has life changed for us, and how we interact with him? Yes. Is he the same as he was 3, even 2 years ago? No. But just because life is different, does not mean it is not worth living. Does he go for football, now, on Sundays at his Grandson’s house? Yep. Has he helped in said Grandson’s recovery from some past issues? Yep. Definately. Summertime BBQ’s on my deck? Yes. Enjoying my wedding, even though he maybe doesnt quite remember everything about everybody? YES! My point is, life may not be the same, and may be sad to some folks, it is still his life and he is still living it the best he can. Never mind the fact that seeing him keep on keeping on, even though life is tough for him is an inspiration to us all, on all sorts of different levels. He has changed. We ALL change. Life ain’t a skip down the yellow brick road with butterflies flying everywhere. Life sucks sometimes. But it is still life, which is precious, no matter what. I will be sad when he is gone, but will continue to enjoy the time we have left….and will help him do the same.

By: Noble Savage

Noble Savage — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 15:24:16 +0000

I don’t know if I can string together a cohert commentary on this because I could’ve written your post, word for word, nearly three weeks ago. And then my grandfather DID die.

I was relieved for him but sad for my father who, even though he had been losing his own father bit by bit for years, still took news of his death very hard. I wish I could say more than that but it’s all still too fresh.

I hope your grandfather, and your entire family, find peace and comfort soon.