Comments on: i would love to be pressure free, from the weight of nothing that bears down on me

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 20:26:09 +0000

@sarah & @tara – glad it resonated with you. it’s not-so-lonely when you know others feel the same.

By: Tara

Tara — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 05:14:19 +0000

Thank you for putting into words something I’ve never been able to as eloquently as you have. I would love to print up business-sized cards with the link to this post on it. The next time someone asks me (a happily married 27 year old with no overwhelming need to reproduce), “are you SURE you don’t want to have babies???” – I would give them said card, and tell them to go home and read. Thank you for making ‘the choice’ feel not-so-tiresome and not-so-lonely.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:19:17 +0000

Wow. Oh wow. It’s like you crawled inside my head! Wonderful, wonderful post!!

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:29:29 +0000

‘othering’. that’s exactly the word i was searching for. that ‘otherness’ is the lonely and tiresome bit.

By: Amity

Amity — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 16:11:06 +0000

I don’t doubt for a minute that it’s difficult and tiresome being deliberately childless in a world that assumes you are, will be or at least want to be a parent.I obviously can’t empathise from personal experience but I can definitely sympathise. You’re at an age where a lot of people you know are having babies or have small children that take up a lot of their time and head space (myself included!) but it won’t always be so pervasive. As your acquaintances’ children grow, hopefully it won’t be such an ‘othering’ experience for you. That said, I think your decision to not become a parent as an othering experience is one that overall has a positive effect on you, and others who make similar decisions. No one should have a child because they are forced to or out of social pressure and I’m glad we have options to ensure neither of those happen, at least on a regular basis.