Jen's Den of Iniquity » zeke the freak

it’s a good thing we don’t have kids

Jen — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 12:14:22 +0000

sure, everyone has nicknames for their pets… but i like to think we put a little imagination into it.

zeke
ezekiel
zekey
zizi
zekelino
bubba
buddy
pipsqueak
dingleberry
fuzzbucket
twinkletoes
prancer
frog-stomper
teh kitteh
furry feline friend
peeping tom

…and on sunday mornings at 5:30am, an especially heartfelt “for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy-and-good-shuddup-already!!!”

lucky for him he’s pretty cute.

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reason number 4309 why i love my husband

Jen — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 18:13:43 +0000

i came home this evening and jonno summoned me to his computer – “come here, i’ve got to show you these!”

he spent his entire lunch hour looking at cats in halloween costumes. (he’s convinced we’re going to get zeke into a pumpkin outfit!)

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maru v. zeke

Jen — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:35:34 +0000

i’m in love with maru the cat. mostly because he does all the same kinds of silly things zeke does, but that i can never seem to capture on camera.

here are a few classic maru videos.

zeke also likes to hop into the recycling container

or any empty box

and hide under the covers.

he’s not as cute as maru though

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and i thought hairless cats were bred that way

Jen — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:33:57 +0000

jonno brings home a new set of electric clippers, starts taking them out of the box, testing them out. he eyes up the cat.

jonno: “would you like to be a punk, zeke?”

zeke: *meow*

(i swear to god, they actually do “talk” to each other. funniest thing i’ve ever seen.)

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who needs babies when you have a cat?

Jen — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 21:21:17 +0000

came home from work today to find a wide swathe of cat puke… strewn all the way across the bed and soaked through the down duvet.

he’s still alive and mewling at me as i type. i can only conclude that i must love this cat something awful.

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cats are entertaining

Jen — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 22:06:30 +0000

zeke goes into his litterbox, scratches around for a while, then comes bounding out. he tears across the living room. turns around. he races back out into the hallway. he starts running again at the furthest point of the hallway, picks up velocity as he flies back into the living room, tries to slow as he begins to run out of space, scrabbling madly for purchase on the smooth floors…and smacks headfirst at speed into the wall.

pauses for a split second, shakes his head, and tears back out of the room.

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wake me when this punishment is done

Jen — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 12:00:35 +0000

as many grave concerns as i have about sharing my own personal information with officials, i have absolutely none when it comes to my cat.

zeke is officially on the matrix.

this is how he consoles himself after the indignity of being poked, prodded, vaccinated and microchipped – by incessantly licking the space where his jumblies used to be.

foo fighters – the one

Download audio file (The%20One.mp3)

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that’s what i get for trying to be too cute

Jen — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:09:04 +0000

whenever we sit down to eat at the table, zeke will perch himself on another chair and intently sniff the wafting aromas coming from our plates, eyes wide, licking his lips. he sits there for the entire meal, *almost* begging, but not daring to touch the actual table with a paw.

today, i made myself some smoked salmon on a bagel. he was sitting next to me, sniffing, sniffing, sniffing… and i thought i’d take a photo.

apparently the temptation was just a little *too* much, the bagel just a little *too* close…

the reason this picture is so blurry is that before i had a chance to focus, he reached out and nipped the salmon off the bagel, and i found myself screaming, dropping my camera and chasing him as he dashed across the kitchen and dove under the living room chair with his delectable fishy bounty.

cheeky bugger… but i have only myself to blame!

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the laws of attraction

Jen — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:50:03 +0000

i love my cat. it was my idea to get a cat, i asked permission from the landlord, i found zeke, i insisted we get zeke. j was happy enough to go along with my need for a cat, but never having lived with a cat before, he was somewhat indifferent to actually getting one.

i feed zeke, i take him to the vet, i take care of the litter, i buy him toys.

and so it’s only fitting that it should be jonno that zeke mews piteously for every time he walks out the door, jonno he follows slavishly from room to room. only fitting that it’s jonno he curls up with on the bed, jonno he plays with endlessly, jonno whose lap he climbs into in the evenings.

i hate to admit it but it’s true: my cat has made me jealous of my husband.

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cat bagpipes

Jen — Sat, 31 May 2008 19:15:21 +0000

inspired by an engineer’s guide to cats,

jonno has taken to performing the “cat bagpipes” several times a day

(not the best example, as zeke is shy about performing on camera…)

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spoiled

Jen — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 21:50:43 +0000

things which arrived in the post for zeke this week:

- 4 boxes premium cat litter (unavailable in regular pet stores)

- a new litter box

- a laser pointer toy

- a radiator bed for our bedroom (he already has one in the lounge)

y’know, when i write it all out like that, it *does* seem a little ridiculous…

though to be fair, the laser pointer is probably more for our entertainment than his

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the damage done

Jen — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:23:44 +0000

::jonno goes to the shop:: *meow*

::jonno takes a shower:: *meow*

::jen leaves for work in the morning:: *meow*

i think we’ve given poor zeke serious abandonment issues.

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sometimes it’s better if you don’t think about it

Jen — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 22:50:51 +0000

j: your cat left a present for you in his litter box…

me: (unimpressed) oh he did, did he…

j: now he is using toilet paper…

me: (shoots him a puzzled look) toilet paper???

j: … a.k.a. *his tongue*

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he was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf

Jen — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 10:39:22 +0000

yes, zeke has taken to curling up in cardboard boxes like a common hobo-cat… and yes, he has his own stocking

LITTLE tree
little silent Christmas tree
you are so little
you are more like a flower
who found you in the green forest
and were you very sorry to come away?
see i will comfort you
because you smell so sweetly
i will kiss your cool bark
and hug you safe and tight
just as your mother would,
only don’t be afraid
look the spangles
that sleep all the year in a dark box
dreaming of being taken out and allowed to shine,
the balls the chains red and gold the fluffy threads,
put up your little arms
and i’ll give them all to you to hold
every finger shall have its ring
and there won’t be a single place dark or unhappy
then when you’re quite dressed
you’ll stand in the window for everyone to see
and how they’ll stare!
oh but you’ll be very proud
and my little sister and i will take hands
and looking up at our beautiful tree
we’ll dance and sing
“Noel Noel”

“little tree” – e.e. cummings

the night before christmas (by clement clarke moore, read by harry humphrey)

Download audio file (Night%20before%20Christmas.mp3)

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ode to zeke

Jen — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 12:26:18 +0000

just for fun. featuring zeke the gymmast, zeke the soccer player, zeke the porn star and zeke the fly-eater.

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