we interrupt our regular broadcast to bring you a special edition of “bizarre consumer products” just in time for the holidays…

in case a gumball machine was too cliched: the “i cannot tell a lie” toy axe. but didn’t lincoln have wooden teeth?

in case you’re on santa’s naughty list: fiddy cent’s own brand condoms and sex toys. awww, yeah – doin’ it gangsta style. or perhaps you prefer the s&m themed ipod, if you like a little kink with your coffee.

and for the scientist who already has everything: cuddly plush microbes! nerdy guys need something warm to curl up to at night.

for the ostentatious ponce in the family: a dolce and gabbana mobile phone. which i suppose you use to call your butler when he’s in the east wing.

finally: framed flotsam. because people will buy sewage in a shadowbox.

(how much longer until christmas??!?!)

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