Once again the year is drawing to a close and I’m wholly uncertain as to where it went, except by the beautiful blur left on my brain. I’m regretfully forced to concede that the old chestnut about growing older that seems to hold absolutely true is that the less time you have the faster it goes, and though I don’t really feel very much older (with the exception of the increasing number of grey hairs, my one real vanity), I have a newfound appreciation for einstein – time is all relative, baby. it slows to a crawl when you’re waiting to marry the person you can’t wait to spend your life with. it flies by when you’re exploring a lush new country and husband on your honeymoon, or spending time getting acquainted with the miracle of your new niece. it flashes before your eyes when you’re tumbling head over heels down a mountain. it creeps when you’re counting down to the escapist adventure of a lifetime.

so time is relative – yet still we measure the events of our life in months and years. we weigh up each well-used year on the 31st december, and grant ourselves a fresh shiny one each 1st january. the symbollism resonates somewhere within us, and we like being able to tot up the sums. was it a good year? was it a bad year? in truth, no year is good or bad, but only the memories of the days that passed during that elapsed span that we use to define the distance of our planet’s trip around the sun. and by that measurement, there were far more good memories in 2005 than not.

but when you take relativity into consideration, time also measures distance. a year is the distance of the earth’s eliptical orbit within the solar system. that distance stretches differently around each event, each change, each memory. 9 months is the distance from anticipation to motherhood. a long weekend is the distance from fear of falling to utter exhilaration. 365 days is the distance from a first date to an “i do”. one day is the distance from the safety of ignorance to the vulnerable knowledge of fear. 5 months 2 weeks and 6 days is the distance from smoker to non-smoker.

time is elusive. the moments you want to capture slip through your fingers, while others imprint themselves for all the wrong reasons. you wish you could spend forever driving along the garden route as a happy newlywed, while you pray you never experience another day like the tube bombings again. you want to hold tight to the baby you won’t see for another year, and forget the dragging days of nicotine withdrawal that seemed postively endless. the precious time spent with long-distance friends passes far too quickly, but the weeks before a round the world trip take ages to crawl off the calendar.

this past year, time was all this and more. it was my marriage, my family, my travels, my celebrations, my friends, my fears and my daydreams. it was alternately far too slow and way too fast. it was major life changes and biding time.

and all in all, it was a pretty good year.

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