exciting, informative, snarky, and very likely fabricated tales of life as an american expat in london

rain, rain, go away

by Jen at 8:52 pm on 26.06.2007 | 4 Comments
filed under: mundane mayhem

it’s nearly july, and yet it feels like october outside. dreary and cool and wet. i took monday and friday off for a long weekend, thinking i’d relax and hang out on the balcony or in the park, catch a few rays while reading a book and sipping a bloody mary.

not a prayer of sunshine. which is pretty typical, really for british summer. add to that the fact that it was the glastonbury festival this weekend, and the start of wimbledon on monday, and you could practically bet your life on rain. foolish timing on my part. i really should know better by now. no wonder i haven’t got my citizenship yet – clearly i don’t deserve it, based on such a newbie mistake.

the lack of sustained sunshine, even in the height of the summer season leads to a unique phenomenon in these parts: the oompaloompa metamorphosis. perfectly normal looking people become transformed into bright tangerine cariacatures, all thanks to buckets of cheap self-tanner, and what i can only presume is a lack of access to light and reflective surfaces. it’s really astounding to see hoardes of otherwise sensible women turning themselves into navel oranges.

oompaloompa

it’s like the christina aguilera look, only worse – all the more false because there’s absolutely no hope in hell of pretending you got it in san tropez, instead of a pay per hour sunbed at the council leisure centre.

ryan adams – rainy days

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4 Comments

  • 1

    Comment by nikoline

    27.06.2007 @ 02:38 am

    i’ve experienced endless rain weather patterns (northern norway is ruthless in this respect) and have actually cried tears of frustration (only more water!) over it. now i want to cry because the current endless weather pattern is that of almost nearly constant sunshine – of which i’m sending you some immediately!

  • 2

    Comment by amity

    27.06.2007 @ 08:33 am

    i looked up the extended weather forecast — saturday is supposed to be sunny! just in time for my bbq. i will beat a bbc weatherman with a crowbar if it rains that day. mark my words.

  • 3

    Comment by Thomas Foolery

    27.06.2007 @ 17:22 pm

    Err, Amity I can tell you from bitter experience that the BBC has trouble getting the current conditions right. Never mind the future.

    The met office (metoffice.co.uk) is the official one used by pilots and such people. It’s much better.

    Get ready with your crowbar. Met office says:

    “Outlook for Friday to Sunday:

    Continuing unsettled and often cloudy with further showers or spells of rain. Rain will be heavy and prolonged at times, especially on Saturday and Sunday. Temperatures near normal.”

    Sorry! Indoor BBQ maybe?

  • 4

    Comment by amity

    27.06.2007 @ 17:47 pm

    damn thee BBC! ::getting my crowbar out:: (6)

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