this expat experience is always unfolding, always new, in ways i never could have anticipated.

i had a lunch date with an american friend of mine this afternoon. she’s in the process of getting married, moving over, changing her life upside-down to be with the man she loves. and as we’re friends of a newish sort, much of the conversation ended up gravitating towards what it’s like to undertake such a monumental leap of faith. the kind of courage it takes to throw yourself into a new environment, with only the solid assurance of your own capabilities to rely on. and she was talking about how it is both an exciting and scary prospect, in equal measure – which is true, of course. but in my attempts to reassure her that it’s not really as frightening as it seems once you are actually in it, doing it, i realised that i’d forgotten just how overwhelming a prospect it once was for me too. i was sitting there blithely glossing over just how hard it can be to make that leap – to believe not only in the uncertain future, but to believe in yourself and your ability to embrace whatever unforseen things that future may hold. to commit to that future with everything you have in the present, and to commit to trusting in yourself with your whole heart.

it’s not easy. in fact, it’s damn hard. to pretend that it’s not, is to invalidate those feelings – those conflicting, exhilarating, anxious, happy, terrifying feelings, that every expat has had.

it’s only because i’m able to look back on that time from the place i’m at now – secure in the knowledge that whatever i was feeling then, i made it through somehow – that those emotions and memories have faded. because it wasn’t easy – not at all.

but it’s good to be able to say now, with sincerity, that it also wasn’t as hard as i thought.

and that one day, she’ll be able to say the same.

motion city soundtrack – everything is alright

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Like this post

Unlike