i’ve been debating whether or not to even mention this here, but figured if something goes wrong and i don’t reappear in this space, at least 2 people will wonder what happened

i’m having surgery tomorrow. it’s a very small, very routine “keyhole” surgery, leaving me with only a few stitches and a plaster. by the end of the weekend, i shouldn’t even be sore.

i’ve been very lucky in my life – pretty much the most invasive thing that’s ever happened to me was having my wisdom teeth out (after which i didn’t even get any good drugs! by law, you should at least get a few hits of vicodin!) consequently, i hate hospitals, and i’m rather nervous about all this “going under” stuff – the idea of having a blank space in my mental record freaks me out just a little. but what i’m even more anxious about is what happens to all the gas they inflate your stomach with (in order to see, supposedly) – let’s just say that the aftermath of the surgery may be more painful for jonno than it is for me

and the fasting! i can’t eat anything after midnight tonight, and nothing but water tomorrow morning. now, i’m usually not in the habit of late-night snacking… but the idea that i *can’t* makes me want to pop round to the kebab shop at some insane hour for a doner and chips. and lets face it – jen without her morning coffee will make for a very grouchy pre-op patient. java withdrawal plus nervous jitters just seems like an ill-advised combo, if you ask me.

also: i have to remove my nail polish, contact lenses and *all body piercings*.

that could prove interesting.

they also advise bringing a dressing gown (!) and slippers. do people still own dressing gowns? i wasn’t even sure what that was until someone told me it’s a fancy name for bathrobe. needless to say, i don’t have one, and even if i did, i wouldn’t bring one to the hospital to wear in front of a bunch of strangers.

so if you see some poor shlub wearing sweats, no makeup, glasses, random empty holes, shaking from caffeine delirium tremens and riding the northern line at 7am with a slightly panicked look on her face… that would be me.

see you all (hopefully!) on the other side

sheryl crow – the first cut is the deepest (cat stevens cover)

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