exciting, informative, snarky, and very likely fabricated tales of life as an american expat in london

my apartment, the home where i hide

by Jen at 8:55 pm on 6.04.2009 | 3 Comments
filed under: mundane mayhem

i must really love my husband, because i really hate flat hunting.  the hours spent sifting through thousands of internet ads, all either slick with deception (a stylish two bedroom cottage house with delightful private rear garden – great location, ideal for a professional couple!) or full of crazy.

like crazy ideas of geography. for the record: streatham is not tooting.  mitcham is not tooting.  stockwell? sorry, not tooting.

or crazy ideas of distance.  being nearly 1.5 miles from the tube station is *not* “moments away”.  nor is it “conveniently located”.

or crazy photos.  is this supposed to make me want to rent your “delightful 2 double bedroom flat in great condition, spacious and modern”?  really??!??

how about this “great size double bedroom”??

and this is supposed to show… “heaps of character”?

this is the only photo of a “2 bedroom garden flat”.  enticing, no?

this estate agent was a particularly talented photographer.  god only knows what these photos are supposed to be featuring.  someone actually waited for these to upload.

and this piece de resistance is a “stunning luxury flat”

i don’t know about you, but i’m sure stunned.

so there’s the deception and the crazy, but also the disappointment.  asking to view a particular advertised flat, but the estate agent taking you to see one you’ll “like better”… at £200 over your max budget.  getting excited about one place that ticks all the boxes and thinking you’ve secured it, only to find out there was a miscommunication and another couple had already put down a deposit.  taking a sunday afternoon off to see a place that looks lovely in the photos, but cheerless, dingy and dark in real life.

i know we’ll find a place eventually.  but it’s just such a thoroughly depressing cycle of expectation and disillusionment.  this is why i hate flat hunting.

i swear – we are never moving again.

ben kweller – my apartment

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3 Comments

  • 1

    Comment by Noble Savage

    6.04.2009 @ 21:39 pm

    I look back on my flat-hunting and then house-hunting days and shudder. Sooo glad I don’t have to do that for awhile. Good luck though, I’m sure you’ll find something great eventually!

  • 2

    Comment by Sarah

    12.04.2009 @ 13:27 pm

    Looking for a flat in NYC – 3x – was probably one of the hardest, most frustrating things I’ve ever had to do. And this was before the ‘net was a search option.

    I had a good laugh at the photo of the…wall meeting the ceiling. When looking to buy a house I couldn’t believe the poor quality of the photos- and they looked exactly like that. Weird angles, stretched-out photos – I’m not tech savvy nor am I particularly adept at photography, but if my meal ticket was wrapped up in taking a decent shot of a house, I’d probably be able to scrounge together something that didn’t turn *off* prospective buyers!

    Best of luck – in NYC word of mouth was a huge help when I was looking.

  • 3

    Comment by Jen

    13.04.2009 @ 17:36 pm

    thanks for the commiseration guys! i know i just need to be patient. sadly, though, that’s not my strong suit!

    re: the photos, omg – these are *estate agents* posting these!! surely it impacts on their commission!

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