last week (whilst i was without internet), channel four ran a series on adoption in britian which simply broke my heart.  as many will know, adoption is an issue i am incredibly passionate about because all of my four brothers and sisters are adopted.  one brother and one sister were adopted as infants, but the other brother and sister came into our family as near teenage siblings, so my family has experienced both ends of the adoption spectrum.

the dispatches episode lost in care focused on the thousands of children in britain who spend their lives being bounced around “the system”, with poor prospects for being adopted and in many cases shoved out into the world at just 16 years old.  without the stability, education and skills to transition into fully functioning adults, they often end up poor, in trouble with the law, or pregnant.  for example, it’s not uncommon for older kids to have been through 20 or more foster placements, and it hit home hardest when they interviewed teens talking about being uprooted from a foster family every few months, throwing their few possessions into garbage bags to change placements at the drop of a hat, being put up in hotels and temporary accommodation when placements couldn’t be found.  i found myself in tears at their description; i vividly recall my new brother and sister arriving at our home toting garbage bags of meagre possessions, so used to disappointment and impermanence that it took them months to even unpack

how in the world can we expect that children will get a good education, or develop trust and empathy, when their whole world fits into a bin liner that they have to cart around from foster placement to foster placement because they don’t have a home or family to call their own? that we continue to fund such a broken system producing broken children, is positively criminal.

try to imagine your life without a mum or dad – who kissed your scraped knee when you fell?  who came running in the dark when you had nightmares?  who comforted you when you were teased at school?  who helped you with your homework?  who taught you to drive?  who helped you open your first bank account?  now imagine turning to a paid carer for all of the above.  now imagine if that paid carer was a different person every few months.

my brother and sister are considered statistical anomalies – as a set of older siblings of colour, their chances for adoption were considered slim.  and yet even though we know how deeply foster care scars children, and we know the odds for adoption decrease exponentially with age, many kids languish in the system for years as opportunities for a home and family pass them by.  too few carers, too few families, too many kids living in limbo for too long.

surely a caring, permanent family is the minimum every child deserves.  i urge you to watch the programme if you haven’t already, and to write to the children, schools and families committee about the horrific way we fail our children.

Like this post

Unlike