in what has now become international news, a louisiana justice of the peace denied an interracial couple a marriage license:

“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”

Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them, he said.

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

“There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage,” Bardwell said. “I think those children suffer and I won’t help put them through it.”

If he did an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

“I try to treat everyone equally,” he said.

my first husband was (is) black – we were together for nearly 10 years and never faced any real hostility. part of that was living in urban areas where interracial relationships are much more commonly visible. part of that was luck. part of that was probably choosing not to see certain things. but i know, and have always known, this kind of bigotry existed.

everyone is all up in arms. i feel like i should have something to say about this – shock! outrage! condemnation!

the fact is, i feel none of those things. the world is crawling with prejudiced people – we all see them, we just never confront most of them. they keep their voices low, or preface their statements with, “i’m not a racist, but…” they rarely ever get called to account because, let’s face it, who’s up for the challenge of taking on that kind of argument? few people ever say anything in the face of racism – it’s easier to let it slide.

admit it – you’ve sidestepped racism before. i have too. like the pile on the sidewalk, we walk on and pretend it wasn’t there. life is sometimes easier that way.

so no, i’m not surprised that in this day and age, someone sees fit to say the kinds of things this man has said. he’s admitted to blatantly turning down interracial couples many times before – he’s been a justice of the peace for 34 years! how many colleagues knew about his practices or views? how many friends or family?

and who ever called him on it before? no one, that’s who.

so when the aclu calls it “astonishing” that this would happen in 2009, i can’t agree. i’m not astonished in the slightest.

as long as well all continue to turn a blind eye, this kind of thing will continue to happen. that’s just the truth of human nature.

and that doesn’t shock me or enrage me – it just saddens me a little.

until i sidestep, and move on. like it wasn’t even there.

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