this year’s gonna be ours
yesterday “jen’s den of iniquity” passed its 6 year anniversary.
the form and function of this little blog have evolved so much since its inception. saying that, this has been a difficult year for me as a blogger – i’ve had more than a passing thought this last year about hanging it all up. small personal blogs like mine feel like they’ve been outmoded in many ways – unless you have a particular theme or tailor your writing for a specific audience (something i’ve steadfastly refused to do – for me it would just feel so artificial), it’s become really hard to build up a following. without concerted effort at self-promotion, the “community” of bloggers seems less organic than it was back in 2004. it’s particularly difficult if you don’t have any kids – so much of blogging seems to revolve around parents these days. that’s no knock on parents who blog … just the reality of who is reading and who is writing. for reasons i can’t quite pinpoint, i seem to have lost a large portion of my viewership this year, and (if i’m honest) spent some time sulking about that.
i spent a few months grappling with the atrophy of readers – it is difficult to feel that you are writing into a void. it’s hard not to take it personally when you spend a lot of effort writing something, only to have it go unnoticed. it makes it terribly difficult to stay motivated. i hate to admit how much even a few words of external validation mean to me. it’s *painful* to feel like you’re the last kid picked for the kickball team. this is not an appeal for anyone’s pity – just a recognition of why it bothered me so much.
but in all my pondering, sulking and mulling, i kept returning to this: it would pain me far more to not write at all. even if i only have an audience of one, writing has become so important to my daily life, so central to my being, that i could never quit it.
it’s become reflexive – i write in my head even when i can’t get to a keyboard. i write in my heart, even when it means nothing to anyone else.
i just can’t seem to quit you, my little den of iniquity.
so even if it’s just you and me and nobody else out there, happy anniversary.
last year – akron/family
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Comment by lisa
8.01.2010 @ 22:29 pm
Thanks for always making me ‘feel’ something when you write. They have been thought provoking, funny, sweet and heart-felt. Seems like so many blogs have turned to fluff. Cheers!
Comment by Sarah
8.01.2010 @ 22:53 pm
I never tried to get readers for my short-lived blog, but the writing itself made it so totally worth it.
To be honest, as a reader, I’m on the other side. I’m tired of all the mommy blogs, and themed blogs have gotten..I don’t know…predictable? Like they are so far in one direction either the nuance is gone or I’m pretty sure what they’re ‘take’ on things is going to be so I don’t bother reading more than the first few lines.
Please keep writing. If only to keep the simple aspects of everyday life alive and vibrant with the beauty of carefully crafted words.
Comment by Deb
9.01.2010 @ 00:06 am
I know there has to be plenty more readers out there like me, who read and never comment. I click on you everyday so not to miss any new entries. I have a long list of blogs in my favorites, but only a handful that I will visit daily and you are one of them. I truly enjoy reading about your experiences, probably because I can relate to many. I recently returned from living in UK and have planted myself in Texas. We’re definatly a generation apart but I so enjoy reading your blog. I may not agree with all your opinions, but I do admire your intelligence and especially your style of writing. New ideas always open the mind, and you do that for me. Thank you for writing your blog.
Comment by Jen
9.01.2010 @ 10:28 am
thank you guys. i feel a bit sheepish – i really am not intending to fish for compliments!
but your supportive comments are really, truly appreciated.
Comment by Amity
9.01.2010 @ 11:32 am
Let’s put it this way: I hate truncated posts in my RSS reader; I prefer to read the whole entry there without having to click through to the actual site. So it’s a testament to the power and quality of your writing that yours is the only blog I would happily click on a dozen times to get to the content. It’s that good.
I’m glad you’re not going to give it up. Happy 6 years!
Comment by Jen
9.01.2010 @ 18:37 pm
you know, i didn’t even think about the truncated RSS feed. good point, i’ll look into fixing that.
Comment by Inga
9.01.2010 @ 21:40 pm
your ability to comment in a profoundly meaningful (not to mention CAPTIVATING) way on topics ranging from running to the indescribable intricacies of interpersonal relationships to complicated social issues – well, it all makes me want to be a better everything, really. the comments you would leave on my two blogs (when I had them) were always helpful and it made me really happy that you, someone whose writing and thought process I admired, took time to read. i am so happy you continue to share in this space. i have moved to norway at this point, by the way, and will continue to read from here. P.S. and sometimes you are just really fun here, too. Which is awesome. In short, keep writing, Jen!! And happy anniversary.
Comment by patrick
10.01.2010 @ 00:12 am
hi jen, my name is patrick, i live in florida…over this past summer i met a girl who lives in yorkshire, england….she’s returned a few times since, and has asked me to come and live with her….she is pretty well off, i basically live as an artist. any advice? would it be difficult for me to just up and move there?
thanks for any help you can give.
Comment by Ashleigh
10.01.2010 @ 01:46 am
I LOVE your blog! I look it up at least a few times week. I came across it about a year ago when I was looking into moving to London (one of those dreams that hasn’t yet come to fruition). I have yet to find another expat blog that is so captivating. Please keep writing!
Comment by Jen
10.01.2010 @ 10:17 am
@inga – in norway full time? are you living with family? will have to email you for the story
@ashleigh – thanks, that’s lovely to hear
@patrick – unfortunately yes, it is difficult. as a US citizen you can go for 6 months as a visitor, but that’s it. otherwise, you can get married, or find a job (v. v. difficult), or come over as a student. the immigration rules are changing all the time and it only gets harder. if you want some topical advice, check out americanexpats.co.uk and do your research. good luck!
Comment by Thomas Foolery
12.01.2010 @ 16:44 pm
You used to write more about issues and politics and the World in general, which you’re very good at.
Over the past year or two your blog seems to have become much more personal and diary-like.
So, I guess it does matter whether you’re writing for *us*, or for *you*
Comment by Jen
12.01.2010 @ 18:11 pm
i think as i’ve moved away from “this is an expat’s view on britain”, it’s harder to just discuss current events for the hell of it.
Comment by daddio
17.01.2010 @ 07:01 am
dear jen,
i use to wonder why anyone would write into cyberspace, especially about personal feelings. guess i still do. however, i have become a regular reader over the last few months because i enjoy knowing what you think about life, and your life in particular. being your father, i do find the wisdom that i see unfolding rather exciting.
as everyone has acclaimed, you are good. the reason i think you are good is because writing is, for you, a passion. it is very clear to me (and your other readers) that you have the talent to touch and inspire others. as i wrote you in my recent email, your feelings, insight, research, craftsmanship (womanship), maturity and funny bone make you a rather interesting author. congratulations on your anniversary! keep on truckin.
read you latest on going back to school. good idea! if you don’t follow the things you feel passionate about, you will miss out on the joy of chasing it. take it from me, it is half of the fun.
love,
daddio