Another Monday rolls around. For those of you following the countdown, only 3 and a half weeks before we leave for our wedding trip to South Africa. The weekend itself was pretty quiet – trying to give the wallets a rest until our trip. We did, however, go out for drinks and Yahtzee with Kerryn, Tracey and Chris (ever try to throw dice in an ashtray?), a decidedly more sophisticated twist on just drinking to fall over. Saturday and Sunday were very quiet, just doing some shopping and cleaning.

Anyway, there are many things I love about London, but seeing as how this is Monday, and I just had to brave the moving sardine can which is the tube, I’ve got a few gripes to rant about. None of these are new peeves, and I’ve probably already written about them here before, but if you can be a self-indulgent whinging loser in a blog, where can you be?

In no particular order:

1. Mixer taps – where hot and cold *come out of the same tap*, providing a delightfully endless variety of shades of warm. They exist in all the bathtubs, why not sinks? This is not a newfangled technology, folks. Since I have very cold-sensitive teeth, and the alternative would send my nerves into painful overdrive, I get to start every morning running my toothbrush under hot water. Perhaps sterilising one’s toothbrush prior to use is a good thing, but it’s about as appealing as drinking a cup of cocoa in the middle of a desert.

2. Reality shows – the endless fascination with these is unbelievable. Where reality tv had it’s heyday in the States about 3 years ago, the trend continues unchecked here, like a demented runaway train. Big brother, couples competing to renovate flats, celebrities trapped in a jungle, celebrities competing to become chefs, celebrities competing to see who can take best (or worst)care of a fake infant, celebrities swapping wives. The only thing bigger than reality tv is reality tv featuring celebrities (and I use that term very loosely indeed). There seems to be no end to the list of contrived reality shows they are willing to foist upon the viewing public.

3. The tube – what passes for transportation here, is in fact, the most poorly run public service I have had the misfortune to ever encounter. Half of the ire is due to the service, or lack thereof. Trains constantly delayed, reduced, or missing altogether when drivers fail to show up for work. In the face of ever increasing fares, we are constantly apologised to for signal faults, staffing shortages, and weather delays. I pay £3 every day, with a) no guarantee that the train will be running at all, and b) that it will get me anywhere on time. It’s like the lottery – you buy your ticket and you take your chances.

The other half of my ire is directed at the massive failure of the Brits to grasp even the basics of crowd etiquette. The tube, surprisingly enough, is shaped like a tube. Which means the trains are very narrow, yet curved at the outside. The people who get on first, get seats. Fair enough. The people who get on after the seats are taken, all congregate by the doors. This is because they are afraid when the train gets more crowded, they will be uable to get off, if they are in the middle. Which means that the people who get on subsequently, are also required to bunch up at the doors. After a few stops, the people sitting, or brave enough to stand in the middle of the carriage, have all the space in the world. Whilst the ever-increasing pressurised logjam at the doors, means that people are literally fighting to cram themselves on, as otherers are fighting desperately to get off. This creates further panic, meaning people are even more reluctant to move towards the middle – it’s a frightening catch 22 which gets worse every day. And due to the curved outward shape, it is possible to squeeze on a number of people who were never meant to be able to get on – as long as you are willing to hunch yourself into a doubled-over face-to-ass position, you can squeeze into a space no human was meant to stand in. By the time we get to my stop (not even yet approching the centre of the city), there are people on the platforms who sit and watch train after train go by, fully rammed to the gills. Which creates crowded platforms – a dangerous situation that london underground staff remedy by creating holding areas at the turnstiles. When these get too full, they creating waiting areas outside the tube station.

You can show up, wait to get inside the station, wait to get through the turnstiles, wait to get on a train, smoosh for a 30+ minute journey, and still arrive at work late. All this for the affordable equivalent of $6 US, per day.

Okay, that’s enough for today. Here’s hoping your week is off to a better start than mine.

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