exciting, informative, snarky, and very likely fabricated tales of life as an american expat in london

moving out, moving on

by Jen at 10:23 am on 3.11.2006 | 1 Comment
filed under: mundane mayhem, world tour

so i have an apartment… that i don’t want to move into.

i don’t know why i am suddenly so reluctant to move – it makes no logical sense, for sure. i have been wanting an apartment of our own for so long – since j and i got together. i haven’t had a flat that i didn’t share since my ex and i split up more than 5 years ago. ever since, i’ve had a flatmate – some better, some worse. there was johnny, my close friend’s brother back when i still lived in boston, who was funny and cool. there was angela, from my first move to london, who was lovely. there was arlene, who was a ditz and annoying, but kindhearted. there was alex, who was a depressed unemployed slob – not so good. and always, there were our friends next door – kerryn and tracey, who are really just family in the form of neighbours.

i was never alone. i’ve been surrounded by friends and family wherever i went.

and being on the road for 6 months, the one thing you get truly homesick for are your friends. it’s friends you wish were there to have beers at sunset in fiji. friends you wish were there to go snowboarding in nz with. friends you wish were there when you’re at a sidewalk cafe in santiago, or dazzled by the salt plains of bolivia, or sucking down pad thai on khao san road in bangkok. it’s friends you can’t wait to share stories with when you get back. of all the things you leave behind, it’s friends you miss the most.

so since we’ve been back it’s been so wonderful – we’ve been staying with kim and andy at their place, who’ve been so generous and warm. and honestly, like a parched plant, i’ve just been soaking it in. it is so nice to be surrounded by friends again. to have people to talk to, to have the luxury of familar faces and comfortable companions. i am sad to leave this cocoon of embrace.

finally moving means the trip is genuinely over. finally moving means being truly on our own, and facing london again. finally moving means losing our built in circle of family and friends and flatmates that i’ve taken for granted for so long. more than anything else, that’s what i don’t want to let go of.

i know it’s time. i know we’ve worked hard for this. i know our flat is still close by. so it makes no sense, this reluctance.

but if you had the friends i do, you’d feel it too.

1 Comment »

1 Comment

  • 1

    Comment by kim

    4.11.2006 @ 18:01 pm

    Enjoy making this new place your “own”. Looking forward to the housewarming party, no pressure! And just think, you won’t have to unpack or re pack for a long while…

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