sometimes i really have to wonder how i make it through the day.

for my work i have to use an i.d. swipe card to get into and out of lots of doors. it’s handily put on a badge lanyard, but i can’t stand to wear i.d. around my neck like some kind of tagged animal, so i usually shove the card in my back pocket and let the lanyard dangle out for easy grabbing.

i also try to drink a lot of fluids at work, which means i have to pee a lot. the ladies’ room is through several sets of doors on the next floor down, which means i have to take my swipe card.

(you see where this is going, don’t you?)

and yes, it finally happened today – i ran to the ladies room, backed up to the toilet, pulled down my trousers, sat down…

… and managed to pee all over my lanyard, still hanging from my back trouser pocket, but the cord swinging gently inside the lip of the bowl.

the acorn – flood pt.1

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