exciting, informative, snarky, and very likely fabricated tales of life as an american expat in london

writing to fill the void

by Jen at 6:45 pm on 18.11.2009 | 2 Comments
filed under: mundane mayhem

i’m at that point where i’ve got about 6 or 7 half drafts sitting in the queue – the lonely stepchildren waiting for their deserved attention. the problem being that none of them seem quite worthy – they’re only old thoughts, rehashed, retreads. nothing novel, no diamonds in the rough. i give them a halfhearted pass every once in a while, but they’re just a handful of unpolished pebbles.

things in my life are starting to feel a bit like that as well. nothing new or exciting. the holidays are rolling around again in spite of my protest, and i have a feeble commitment to *do something* about them that resembles celebration and cheer. and i do mean it. sorta.

it’s this horrible sense of blah that gets me every time. give me emotional ups and downs and work and stress and drama and love and despair… but if you want to kill me properly, boring will do the trick. what other people embrace as calm and contentment is pure torture for me. it all makes me feel a bit deadened, numb. which is a problem of my personality, i freely admit (and given a big enough vacuum, will manufacture something myself) – but i just can’t help it. there’s time to be boring when you’re dead – that’s my motto.

but writing about boredom is boring. so i wait. i’m waiting for that next challenge or new glittering thing. waiting for the holidays. waiting for inspiration. waiting for boredom and winter and blahs to end.

i hope i’m not waiting too long.

2 Comments »

2 Comments

  • 1

    Comment by Deb

    19.11.2009 @ 05:09 am

    Looks like its time for a new adventure. What’s on your list?

  • 2

    Comment by Jen

    20.11.2009 @ 12:12 pm

    ah, if i only knew. definitely in need of adventure. desperately in need of adventure.

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